Saturday, July 2, 2016


Dear Olive,

Disclaimer:   If you want to see the terribleness that is "Independence Day 2," do not read this post.

I just wanted to reach out as a public service announcement to say that, if in all patriotism and allegiance to your spousal duties you dain to enter into a verbal contract with your husband to see this motion picture, prepare yourself for the following carnage:

  • A landslide that destroys most of the western hemisphere stopping just short of the White House.
  • A school bus that outruns a light speed alien
  • A father telling his daughter before suicide bombing another species: "I'm not doing this to save the planet, I'm doing it to save you."
  • Lots of epitaphs of "kicking alien ass."

Just engage in your hotdogs, and your parades, and picnic in peace.  Do not waste 2 hours of your life in an experience more painful than birth.

And if you do, get reparations.  I; myself, chose a shady Craigslist venture 2 hours away from our house to obtain an antique summer cover for our new fireplace.  We're almost even.

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